“I think I’ve had moments of coming out probably constantly because I was always unwilling to accept it for many years. I knew when I was 12 years old that I was gay, but didn’t want to accept that. So, I forced myself to be with girls. It was not a lot, but it definitely made me not want to be around anyone. It’s like you don’t want to fake who you are. Sometimes you don’t realize how much energy that takes and how much of a toll it takes on you until you stop doing it. Growing up in the 1980s was not easy because it was when AIDS first hit the news and there were homophobic type things that really made me suppress myself. When I got older, I then realized that it was such a waste of time.
When I met my partner John, I was actually quite happy being single after breaking up with my previous person. I think it was the first time I had ever been the happiest. And that’s when I realized it’s healthier to get into a relationship this way when you’re living your true self and when you’re already happy, rather than hoping the person you’re going to be with is responsible for your happiness.”
— Steve Calitri (he/him), 51, cis-male, gay.
