“I had kind of dabbled in gay sex at a bunch of points in my life. And ten years ago, I realized that’s kind of who I was. I enjoyed that. It’s who I am. I’ve had encounters with men for 25 years. But for me to accept the fact that that’s who I am, it took a whole leap of faith. I always knew. But it was always relationships with women, and mostly sex with men. For men, they were my boyfriends though because I don’t do one night stands or hookups. I’m really picky about who I sleep with.
Right now I’m on a couple of gay men sites. And there, I say who I am and what I like to do. I want to be pursued. I want to be wined and dined. I want to feel special. But it’s not really going well because men just want to do hookups, and that’s not who I am. In my profile, I say I crossdress and the whole thing behind my closed door is that my job is to serve. When I make someone happy, then that’s my turn-on. As long as I’m able to satisfy someone and do what they say, I’m happy. I don’t even need to have an orgasm. For them to have an orgasm, that’s more important to me.
At some point, I hope to be able to show this side of me more publicly. I want people to accept me for who I am, and know that although it is a big part of me, it is not the only part. Someday I hope I would run into someone at a Laundromat or meet someone at a gym, and have a conversation and be like, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ and it’s just going to be magic on both ends. I just can’t wait for that to happen. I know I’m just going to make some guy really happy.”
— David (he/him), 58, transgender, work-in-progress.
