“If I were to tell my parents that I’m pansexual and polyamorous, it would probably blow their minds. I do think that some parents, more often those from Asian cultures, can have a hard time understanding these concepts. And I currently don’t feel the need to come out to them because I am an independent person. I live by myself and I own my own property. I don’t want to take on more emotional trauma when I don’t need to. I don’t feel like coming out to them really buys me anything at this moment until I have more stable partners for the long term. And I’m still exploring polyamory. I haven’t made a firm decision on whether this is something I want to do or not. So far I’ve been dealing with jealousy very well and also the idea of abundance in relationships, as opposed to being deprived. I’m in a relationship and feeling secure to start with instead of feeling insecure and jealous that your partner might be talking to somebody else.
I’ve always been unhappy with jealousy and I’ve always been unhappy with the idea that we have to limit ourselves in loving. I feel like I’ve always been at least open, if not polyamorous. I had a partner in college that I almost married. And the prospect of feeling like this is the only person I’d be allowed to love in my life didn’t really sit right with me. And because of the toxicity within that relationship, I started noticing that I was still interested in other people. And I think that’s when polyamory first peeked into my mind. I feel like if that’s who you are, to be interested in multiple people at once, then that’s something you shouldn’t suppress but instead should be collaborative about.”
— Leo Lin (he/him), 28, male, pansexual.
